It takes the average fertile couple a year or less to conceive a child after making the decision to begin TTC (trying to conceive). The emotional toll even one “not pregnant” has on a couple is difficult.
Some women are able to get pregnant right away, and other women need a little more time. Every month without a positive pregnancy test is heartbreaking for couples, and it only grows worse over time. Most doctors won’t consider infertility an issue until after a year of trying regularly, but that year is emotionally draining for most couples. Your emotional health takes a major hit during this time, and that’s why it’s imperative you learn not only what’s normal, what’s not and how to cope with one negative test after another, but also how to handle your emotional health while trying to conceive.
Set a Timer on Negative Emotions
Cry, scream, get frustrated. Do whatever you need to do to feel the sadness after another negative pregnancy test during this road. Let yourself feel your emotions as they come, but give yourself a time limit. Don’t wallow in self-pity for days or weeks. It’s easy to do this, and it’s devastating for your emotional well-being. Accept the negative, let your emotions run rampant, and then move on.
Remember to Have Fun While TTC
You’re trying to conceive, and that’s a lot of fun. However, it can become more of a chore the more you do it, and that’s no fun. Remember during this journey to have fun. Enjoy the TTC moments, and seek pleasure outside of them. Go on a romantic date night, to your favorite sporting event or out with friends and have a good time. It might be easier on you to always have a fun evening planned on the day you know you’ll test to see if you’re pregnant so there’s always something to look forward to.
Get Off the Internet
The worst thing you can do for yourself while you’re trying to get pregnant is perusing the internet like it’s your job. You’re going to diagnose yourself with diseases you don’t have, convince yourself there is something wrong and give yourself anxiety. Stay off the internet. It isn’t easy to do, but remind yourself it takes the average fertile couple one year to conceive. Only a very small percentage of women conceive right away, and just over half do in the first six months. There is a very little reason to worry there is something wrong with you other than extreme impatience.
Surround Yourself with People You Love
Your friends and family can help by just being there for you during this emotionally draining time. It’s not easy to see another negative as the months go on, but they can help you feel better about things. They’ll remind you how long it took them to get pregnant, encourage you and they’ll distract you. Don’t shut yourself off when you’re sad. Reach out to the people who love you.
Take Care Of You
If you want to feel better mentally, emotionally and physically, take care of you. Eat well, be active, travel and do what makes your soul happy when you have time. Read that book you’ve been eyeing. Take a vacation somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. Book a day at the spa for a massage, facial and a really great pedicure. Spend time focusing on you and what makes you happy. It works.
Talk to Someone
In some instances, it might be helpful for you to speak to a professional about your feelings. If your anxiety, fear and stress are so bad you can’t function on a daily basis, it might be time for you to call someone. It’s normal to feel upset when things aren’t working out for you, but it’s not normal to shut completely off. Don’t be ashamed of asking for help.
Trying to conceive is fun, stressful and it can lose its luster when you don’t get the desired results right away. Remember it takes time for most women to get pregnant, and try to care for yourself in the meantime. The healthier you are, the better the chance you’ll get pregnant. You are your first priority, and you should focus on yourself during this time.